Ooops.

Your challenge is over. You met the lovely Austrian boy, whose wild look didn't put you off. You did just enough work, put in just enough effort, and you made it. But at the same time you now have a problem. You have two options, and you wonder which one will work out better. It's so annoying not to see the future, you hate surprises. Well, unless you know what the intent is.



So your favourite person in the world is now a few thousand miles away from you. That's alright, it's only for a month, and you know what? You'll be fine. You'll study, you'll do your exams, you'll turn 18, and then do some more exams, and then what do you know? They'll be back. It's still hard to believe though, that your person is that far away. You seem to forget that the world extends beyond this country, it extends beyond these shores, this little suburb, and the track you wear from your home to his.



He's right when he says that you've never left home. Never left this little suburb. And it's not a bad thing. Ten years is a lot of time, a lot of experience to catch up on. But you're not so far behind.



Last night you might have fucked it up. You drank too much, said too much, everything was too much. You weren't drunk, just enough to make you speak your mind. You keyboard warrior you. Now you're not sure where you're going, where you're at, what's happening. Do you stay up to 2am in the hope that previous patterns will be followed? Do you hope that your email will be replied to, that something will come of it? Something positive. You don't want to be stuck, don't want to be left without warning. To be completely honest, you're scared. You want to hang your head, drive over there and say you're sorry. Sorry for being stupid. Sorry for being an idiot. Sorry for repeating the same mistakes over again. .....