Tradition n.

Ahhh, people have put you in a box haven't they? That's alright though, you fit in that box, and there's even a little room to move if you want to spread out a bit. It's not that you're uncomfortable being in said box, more that people think that they've got you figured out. Maybe they have.

Sometimes things are a lot harder than you think, and it takes a while for you to figure out exactly what the issue is. Most of the time people just tell you straight up if they want something, or if something is wrong. They used to, anyway. Now not so much. They give you a little more rope and expect you to be the one to pull it when you want to see them again, or want to talk, or want something in general. You don't know how hard to pull, or when it's time to pull. You worry that you'll be wrong. You hold back so that nothing changes, because what is now, is potentially better than the outcome of any alteration.

You need to learn to read the signs better, you should know by now, after all this time. You've had 8 months to learn, longer! And it's not that you're not trying to get better at this, you just can't get past some of the mental bits. How can you change your attitude.

Maybe it'd be easier if things were clearer... if you knew what you were to them exactly. It might tell you how important you are, and how much attention should be paid, - amongst other things.

You should sleep, but you're awake now, as usual. Ugh. Finish this another time?